“My man Nathan showed up wearing a utility belt that looked like it was forged by NASA and Lowe’s. He handled the alligator pit with calm and grace and deftly maneuvering the cobblestone dart trap system. Before I could offer him a bottle of water, he was already rappelling into my attic like a Mission: Impossible reboot. Ceiling too low for most humans? Not for Nathan. He army-crawled through 18 inches of fiberglass insulation like it was a luxury mattress. At one point, I heard him mutter, “Snakes… why did it have to be snakes?” Turns out my attic had a rogue plastic Halloween decoration. Nathan rappelled past it effortlessly with his bull whip.

He dodged swinging ducts… He deciphered an ancient HVAC panel code (written in what I believe was Elvish or possibly mid-90s manual shorthand). He even replaced a capacitor while hanging one-handed from a support beam, Indiana Jones style, holding the old one up like it was the golden idol and whispering, “This belongs in a museum.” When he finished, he simply nodded, checked the thermostat, and vanished into the mist (or possibly insulation dust). My house went from Amazon rainforest in July to arctic tundra in February in under 10 minutes.

TL;DR: Nathan is what would happen if MacGyver and Indiana Jones had a baby who decided to go into HVAC instead of archaeology. Hire him. Tip him. Tell your grandkids his tale.”